if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
