I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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