omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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