i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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