My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
