I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
