GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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