i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
