This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
love makes seman taste better
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
