dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
