saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
