see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
