he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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