We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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