Your mouth is God's brothel.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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