best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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