Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You've changed since you got that strap on
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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