And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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