He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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