Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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