She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
