C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
