I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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