he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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