I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize