I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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