What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
