I'm jealous of your bromance
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
