I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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