Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
