Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He had one of those small greek statue penises
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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