Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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