I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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