my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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