the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
