You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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