Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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