How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize