But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
