you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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