no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
