we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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