I'm jealous of your bromance
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
