Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
