he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize