Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
