I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
