oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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