I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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