I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
