so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
