put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is my gift to your gina
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
