Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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