That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
