Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
