dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
