Your tits are I can't wait for
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
