I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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