When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
