The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
