I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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