What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
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I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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